Now masturbation doesn’t seem to be a very uncommon word when it comes to the television show Mad Men, considering Don Draper and all his glory, the curves of Christina Hendricks, and all the sex scenes (which could have been so much juicer if only HBO would have accepted Mad Men from the beginning.)
However, on last night’s episode masturbation was treated as a taboo, a repressed activity of the 60s before the sexual revolution of the 70s. Mad Men had little 10 year old Sally masturbating at a sleepover. While her friend was asleep, Sally was gawking at a beautiful boy on television until the friend’s mom walked in and turned into a total cockblock. The mother got upset and sent Sally home, where Sally’s mother told her to never do that again, even in private.
Instead of this incident being a good time for Betty, Sally’s mom, to talk to her daughter about sex, she decides to send her to therapy. Don Draper, her father, did not think this was reason enough to send her to therapy, only furthering the reason to crush hard on Don. A revolutionary man, not only in advertising, but in supporting independently orgasmic women!
I watched this episode with my friends and during this scene, I stated to the room that I would be proud if that was my daughter! My comment flooded the room with a stinging silence. Obviously my friends disagreed or were too embarrassed to comment. I am surprised that still, even in some of our youth culture, the voices of our future, female masturbation is looked down upon.
I mean, we all did it as kids, whether or not we really knew what were doing, we did it because it felt good! We might have accidentally rubbed up against the couch and then didn’t stop because of the sensation. Little kids are always caught with their hands down their pants in public and the parents have to remind them to not put their hands near their privates. These incidents are all based on the id and the pleasure principle. It had nothing to do with doing something bad or being a bad person in anyway. It was all about what was good! When it comes to sex, we need to keep our childhood instinct to follow the pleasure principle.
When we like something, we shouldn’t think about if it is perceived as “deviant” or “perverse” according to society. Instead ask yourself IS IT SAFE? And DO I LIKE IT? That is what counts. In order to have less guilt and more pleasure in our society we need to start with ourselves. Stop judging others for what they find pleasurable. Let go and enjoy the feeling.
So what if someone likes excretes with their orgasms. Lacey lingerie started our as a fetish, but has become so mainstream it is one of the main images conjured up in our minds when we hear the word “sexy.” Go ahead, pee, watch someone take off their shoes, pour spaghetti on yourself, or masturbate! It doesn’t matter, whatever feels good. You deserve it!
Our clit is made for pleasure. Love that about yourself. Starting rubbing your bodies rather than ragging on ‘em!
YES. Myself and one other girl in my class are the only ones who will admit to masturbating out of our class (we found out during a game of never have I ever). I say admit because I choose to think that people actually do and are just too embarassed to say.
The alternative is too depressing to contemplate.
I definitely agree. I have lots of girlfriends who do admit to it… but still a lot that don’t. I even have a friend who wont tell anyone but will then secretly talk to me about it.
We need to get over the embarrassment of sex… you can’t know everything about it right away, its something you are constantly learning about…we need to discuss it like that, not hide away from it.. it is meant to be enjoyed!
Your practice and openness of self love is something to look up to. Hopefully you get the positive message across to your other girlfriends so they can love themselves a little more too!
Amen to all the above.