1. Mood Music. I have an iTunes playlist covertly entitled ‘rr’ for rabbit rock (named after my rabbit vibrator, naturally). Every time I find a song that would be a good romp session anthem, I add it to my self-loving rr soundtrack. This is also fun because later when you hear one of the songs — at a party, say, or in the supermarket — you are reminded of those same tingles you felt before and it becomes a private inside joke with yourself.
2. A good sex toy. I have become a kind of connoisseur of sex toys over the years and have found that a quality vibrator will always do the trick. I am a firm believer that one size (and shape) does not fit all when it comes to sex toys, so it’s up to you to find what you like. Experiment and explore. You and your sex toy will make for the ultimate tryst.
3. Fantasy fucking. Sometimes I will turn to porn, sometimes music, but when all else fails, a wild fantasy can never do me wrong. Our brains are one of the most powerful sex organs and masturbation is the best way to exercise our creativity. Try to stay conscious of the things that turn you on throughout the day in order to better discover your own sexual appetite and use it as material for a future self love session.
4. The freedom to be loud. My usual go-to noise canceling option is to have my vibrator under the sheets and to breathe my heavy breaths into a pillow. However, once I get to know my roommate’s class or work schedules, I find myself enjoying more home-alone time. When you don’t have to worry about anyone overhearing (or walking in on) your bliss and buzz noises, you can let yourself go and ultimately feel your orgasm much bigger and better.
5. Tuning in to yourself. This is a little more abstract compared to the rest and probably much more vital. I close my eyes and take full breaths. I make sure to be very conscious of every part of my body. It’s important to be completely engaged by all your senses. What do your sheets feel like? What does your skin feel like? (Moisturize with sensual lotions if your answer is “scaly.”) What can you smell? (Light some candles if your answer to that question isn’t pleasant.) What does your breathing sound like? And so on. Remember that loving your body, physically and emotionally, is key to getting pleasure from it.

Also posted on Em & Lo’s site here!

The Velvet G Spot Vibrator is a Doc Johnson product endorsed by Jenna Jameson and was sent to me by theadulttoyshoppe. This is a one pattern vibration toy where the bottom of the toy turns so that the vibration strength is on a spectrum. The more you turn the more intense the vibrations will be. The vibrations are pretty decent for this kind of affordable toy, only $23.99. But don’t expect vibs like the hitachi magic wand. It requires, but does not come with, two AA batteries.

When it comes to pleasuring your g spot it is important to get aroused first in order to get warmed up. It is similar to putting a vibrator directly on your clit when you are not aroused yet, it is somewhat shocking and uncomfortable. I found this toy to work well with exterior use. However, in certain positions the batteries would move and make the vibrations awfully loud.

I’ve only ever used glass g spot toys, so I was not sure what to expect with the vibrations on my sweet spot. I’m not sure if this is common with many gspot vibs, but the vibrations were less when they were inside and pressed against me. I enjoyed it more when it was on a very low level and I brought the toy closer to the front of my body in a knocking sort of motion. The shape of this toy was good for that kind of motion. The head of the toy is bigger than I expected, so for those of you who like a good amount inside, this toy might be what you are looking for.

I am a total believer in water as a form of therapy. It relaxes me like nothing else, which is why I decided to make the shower the first place I ever masturbated, way back when. So I think, why not bring my partner into that space every now and then too? Being in my partner’s arms under the hot shower head is one of the warmest and most intimate moments I know. And so, for all the shower sex haters out there (ahem, including right on this site), here are my top 10 reasons why shower sex is affectionate, practical, and hot. No, really.

1. The shower is the only place where you can use the shower head as a sex toy.
2. It’s good to mix things up — the shower is a new place to do it, and, unlike a hotel room, it’s free.
3. Got roommates? The running water of the shower disguises your glory moans.
4. Even when things are getting dirty, the shower keeps everything clean. It’s much easier to wash off that pearl necklace when the water is already running.

What do you think characterizes a positive attitude towards sex?

Someone who has sex for pleasure and connection NOT to get things or
manipulate people.  Also, someone who knows how to stimulate
themselves and shares that with their partner.

Why do you think masturbation is important?

We masturbate in utero…when we’re a fetus.  It’s how we become
sexual beings so if it’s blocked we can’t move forward and have
satisfying partner sex.  Also, it’s the constant in our lives.  You
will always masturbate.

Describe your first experience with masturbation.

I remember playing in the bathtub with the water running.  Maybe I was
6 or 7.  I was taking this little boat and dunking it under the stream
of water – the water hit my vulva and it felt good.  I didn’t think
about it or know exactly what I was doing but I scooted forward so the
stream ran directly over my clitoris and had an orgasm.  From then on,
I love love loved bath time.

How do you like to pleasure your? (any specific places, motions, etc.)

I use the 3 toys: the Hitachi Magic Wand, the Split Dildo and some lubricant.  I used to have tension orgasms but now I follow Betty’s Rock ‘n Roll technique.  Spread your legs apart holding the vibrator over your vulva.  Then rock your pelvis forward and then back so the vibrator runs from the top of your pelvic mound to your vaginal opening.  Just keep doing that – keep breathing – and ride the waves of orgasm.

What is your favorite sex toy?

My filthy mind

What is your favorite sexual fantasy?

Any sort of rape scenario (I know it’s taboo that’s why it’s hot) or a
scene where my boyfriend walks in on my having sex with someone else.

” It’s not a need, it’s a want. Women don’t need to masturbate. For most of us it’s not a primal urge, a sudden ‘must-do’ way of releasing the pent-up energy we feel we have to free into the universe. Most women masturbate because they like how it feels, or they want to kow what it feels  like because maybe they’ve never had an orgasm before. Women who masturbate are open to the sensations going on in their body. We don’t think of masturbation as a reward for being good, or as consolation for being alone. This might surprise you, but more women masturbate when they’re having sex or are sexually fulfilled than when they aren’t. Masturbation isn’t something we have to do, but it’s something a lot of us like to do.

…

Today’s young professional women are more in touch with their own wants and desires, and, rater than trying to fulfill their every sexual satisfaction through the discovery of someone else, they know how to take matters into their own hands.”

What do you think characterizes a positive attitude towards sex?

A love or embracing of sexual enjoyment, physical, mental, and emotional.

Why do you think masturbation is important?

It’s great for personal indulgence but also learning new sexual skills and how your own genitals like it.

Describe your first experience with masturbation.

Using the Water Pic showerhead on a hose to spray water between my cocklips in an effort to get soap that was burning them out! it was an accidental pleasure.

 How do you like to pleasure yourself? Are there any specific places, motions etc.

Keep the coronal ridge rubbed lightly and constantly along with the cocklips and other small glans-located erogenous zones.

What is your favorite sex toy?

An aneros for me, lots of others for her.

What is your favorite sexual fantasy?

Almost any one that has curvy hot bodied women in them loving quality sexual pleasure and having big orgasms.

I will be providing stories and interviews throughout the month with sex positive pro-selfloving activitists and lovers alike!

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Masturbation is something most everyone has experienced as a child. Remember the days of accidentally rubbing up against the sofa? And liking it? And ‘accidentally’ continuing to rub? Yeah, I had a nightly ritual of doing this with my pillow before going to sleep each night. Of course, I had no idea what I was doing or that other people were probably doing it too.

It wasn’t until middle school when I tried it again. My best friend, who happened to be a boy, urged me to try it. I was reluctant because I was under the false impression that only guys did it. Eventually, I took the two finger dive down there in the shower (our shower didn’t have a retractable head.) It felt tingly and sweet, but weird and wrong at the same time. I stopped after a few minutes and reported back to him about what happened and what didn’t happen.

As curious adolescents, the two of us would have long chats online over instant message discussing sex and gender. We grew comfortable with sexual discourse, which I am ever grateful for because it caused me to be more comfortable in my own skin. I started to notice what turned me on and what was not for me. I began to enjoy turning myself on with erotic texts and visualizing the men I wanted to sleep with. However, I was still never able to have an orgasm when I touched myself.

When I was 14 going on 15 I began to express my concern to two of my good guy friends because the girls I knew at this time were either too afraid to ever talk about masturbation or thought it was gross. One of the guys said I just needed to try a different method, so he offered me his electric tooth brush. It was the kind that was rounded at the end, just like a vibrator. My pleasure sessions started to pick up from there. I went for longer and felt more tingles than ever before, but alas, still no orgasm.

I thought for sure once I had sex with a boy it would happen. All throughout high school I tried, and others tried.

I know part of it was because I was scared. I loved the feeling, but I would always reach a point where I was scared of what would happen next. Its a hard thing to explain, but fairly common in young girls.

I was still using my electric toothbrush, but over time it had become worn and weak. The friend who originally encourage my masturbation exploration decided to buy me a back massager for my birthday to replace the toothbrush.

I went home that night eager and a little nervous to try out my new toy. It had high quality vibrations, with two speeds and a warming option. I lite a lavender scented candle and turned up the mood music playlist I made myself on iTunes. I had to be sure not leave out any kind of sensual stimulation. I was also more experienced with my sexploration, so my fantasies became more detailed.

I laid in my bed and switched the massager on. I touched it against everywhere and anywhere I wanted. I was exhilarated by all these sensations I had never felt before. My mind started to expand and soften at the same time. My breathing became rhythmic and more heavy. I closed my eyes, my muscles tightened and my toes curled in. I finally got my first orgasm.

Masturbation and orgasm is often discouraged for women. We need to start learning at a younger age to be comfortable with and know our bodies. We need more best friends in our life encourage us to feel good. We are taught that our orgasms should come from others, rather than the person we can love for forever, ourselves!

Happy Masturbation Month!

…and look forward to an interview later this week with sex life coach and blogger Eric Amaranth.

I remember back when I was 14 and I had one of my very first sexual experiences that went beyond 1st base and into the realm of more nakedness and more touching. I was in a more experienced boy’s bed and he wanted to take my shirt off. My first instinct was to say no! What will he think if he really sees me! Of course he had been through this whole game before, so he knew just what to say to make me feel comfortable with it.

This is the moment I realized that boy’s don’t really care. They may understand even more than many women do that all our bodies are beautiful and deserve sum lovin’! With more sexual experience, I became more comfortable with my body and my nudity.

Appreciating someone for what is real about them is such a turn on. Sometimes when sex gets really dirty and you almost feel like you are in a porn film, it can be hott. I almost feel disconnected with myself and only pay attention to our animalistic behaviors.
I think its hotter when I just feel like me and not someone else and that includes feeling like me in my own natural body.

I’m not the type to never shave or never shower, but all of us slip up at one time or another. It is nice to know that we are still sexual creatures at heart and those socializing health habits can’t stop that.