Death & Breakups & Radiolab

I’ve recently taken up listening to podcasts now that I have a job where I can choose what I want to listen to and if I didn’t listen to something I’d probably go crazy. Most recently I was listening to Radiolab’s “Short: The Bitter End” episode. They talk about a lot of things, but one thing they talk about is the dicatomy between how people want to die and what people will do to avoid death.

Most people want to die quickly and peacefully. However, these same people also want feeding tubes, respirators, etc. in order to stay alive…which can be more of a slow painful death. They mention how it is both healthy to want to go peacefully and healthy to want to stay alive…but sometimes we need to accept life and death as they are and make a compromise.

At the end of the podcast they mention a quotation from Maurice Sendak. I was really taken by what he said…

“I am so in love with the tree and the beauty of it and my chance to keep it company just a little while longer.. and I want to stay and every extra day I get is a day that is precious to me and I want to stay even harder, but I am ready to go when it is time. I’ve made myself ready.”

I can’t help by to relate this to breakup’s and starting new relationships.

This idea especially resonates with me right now. In a couple months it will have been a year since my last big break up. And at this very moment I am about to leave for the airport with the new guy I am seeing to go home for my grandma’s service. She passed away a year ago exactly.

Mourning the loss of those close to me and mourning the loss of relationships are two things I’ve experienced more than I would like…and to me they can be a very similar experience at times. Not all the time and not in every way. I learn very different things about myself depending on whether it is death or a break up. But the pain of having someone not in your daily life anymore is a similar sort of aching.

The podcast had me thinking about how accepting your death really is the most peaceful way to go. It is almost like one in the same. Once you’ve accepted your death, you’ve reached a peaceful place. That doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt and isn’t hard. In a break up you can accept that you aren’t right for each other or they don’t want to be with you or whatever and be content with the separation…but the pain still comes in waves.

What I love about this quotation though, despite the dooming aspect of death, is the optimism he holds…which is why I want to think about relationships in this same way. Relationships run their course and when they are ready to end they will. We are resilient enough to accept that, learn something, and move on. Often times we are afraid of starting new relationships or are scared of intense feelings for someone new. Sendak’s words make me less scared.

I feel more encouraged to really be aware and let myself feel everything as I really do. It isn’t worth it to be scared and stuck in the middle of a feeling. Feel it all or move on.

Fun Tips For Fabulous Lady Bits

We are all about encouraging safety, hygiene, fun, and sexiness in the bedroom. What better way to exemplify that than with a post all about caring for your lady parts? We love our female bodies au natural (think classic victorian nude portraits), but we also can’t get enough of the fabulousness of dressing up and getting fancy, even under our everyday outer wear.

Hip Snips by Pablo Mitchell 

It is not uncommon to hear nervous giggles in our shop, but our most boastful laughs usually come from this great guide to pubic hair styling and beatification, Hip Snips. Inside the book you can learn about pubic hair maintenance, history, and styling – often inspired by celebrities.

Coochy 

Pair Hip Snips with this moisturizing body shave creme, Coochy. Even sensitive skin types will love how this conditioner really softens your hair and skin. Made with aloe vera! The more you hair you shave, the more sensitive skin you’ll have for your partner to pleasure (as mentioned in Going Down Guide: Tongue Tips & Oral Sex Techniques for him and her.)Vajazzle – bijoux indiscrets 

Dazzle your partner with our body bedazzling by bijoux indiscrets. Vajazzling is perfect for those who like to stay bare down there and want a little sparkly surprise. We also carry bedazzling sets for only your nips, if the brazilian isn’t your thing. A pair of hot panties and body adornments make quite a creative and fancy playtime outfit.

Show it all off with some lingerie with: 

We suggest crotchless undies or an open garter with stockings! Check out some of our lingerie here.Now it is time to debut your beautiful bits!Shop in the store (1772 Union St, San Francisco) or online!

The REAL Reason Why Yoga Improves Your Sex Life

As a teenager, naive to what both sex and yoga were really about, I would gossip with my friends about our sprouting sex lives. We giggled about starting yoga classes in order to be better in bed, with the idea being that yoga = flexibility and flexibility + twisted pretzel positions = good sex. We’d learned this from movies that portrayed woman who could put their leg over their head as sexy and promiscuous. As I grew up and learned more about sex — and started taking yoga classes — I figured out that, while pretzel sex positions can be more awkward than pleasurable, there are plenty of other reasons why yoga can improve your sex life. Here are five…

1. Yoga Is a Stress Reliever

A tightly wound mind is not exactly conducive to orgasmic bliss, especially for women. Studies have shown yoga can lower anxiety, depression, blood pressure, and general mental and physical dissatisfaction. Carving out time for yoga each week is an easy and inexpensive way to be good to yourself. Consider it a kind of ongoing D.I.Y. foreplay.

2. Yoga Improves Body Awareness

Yoga helps you become more aware of and more in touch with your body, often through the practice of mindful meditation while you work out. I know what you’re thinking: Hold the oms, I just want to get into shape. But there’s an awesome side effect to all this body awareness: You learn to listen to what your body wants and likes. Which is a serious advantage in the bedroom, where women especially often find themselves doing things that they think are supposed to feel good, rather than figuring out what actually turns them on.
You don’t have to completely make your mind blank to achieve body awareness. It’s basically just about focusing your energy throughout different parts of your body, and then doing what feels right.

When I do yoga, I’m in a large studio space with at least 50 other people and an instructor who walks around describing the next position, while also encouraging us to do what feels best for our bodies. When we are all on our backs, some will want to have their legs tucked close to our bodies and rock back and forth, while others will want to spread their legs up and hold their feet with their hands. In my class, I’ve learned what positions feel good to me without worrying how I might look. It’s impossible not to translate this sort of acquired wisdom to the bedroom, where an arched back might look really sexy to my partner, but may not be the best way for me to get off that night.

3. Yoga Is an Aphrodisiac

Exercise is one of the greatest natural aphrodisiacs. And yes, yoga is a work-out if you’re doing it right! It improves strength, balance, and flexibility. And once you get those endorphins going, you’ll have more energy to do all the things you enjoy. In fact, in general, the more you look out for your health — exercise, diet, and rest — the better you will feel and the more eager you will be to jump in the sack with your partner!

4. Yoga Improves Blood Flow to the Pelvis

Many positions increase blood flow to the pelvis, for example, the bound angle position. And increased blood flow down there is exactly what happens when you get turned on! It’s also the same thing that those stimulant gels you can buy at your local sex shop are going for, too — except that, once you’ve learned the right positions, yoga is free! (And better for your heart, too.)

5. Two Words: Yoga Pants.

Ladies, a good pair of yoga pants can be an awesome visual turn-on for your partner — but more importantly, they can make you want to admire your own ass in the mirror. Aw yeah.

Read at Em and Lo.

5 Reasons to Love Lube:

So I’ve started writing for Pink Bunny‘s blog… a really radd, body-safe, playtime lingerie sex shop in San Francisco. Thought you folks might enjoy the latest post…

1. Enhanced Sensation:

Even if you feel like you create enough self-moisture, lubricants can have an added sensation.Getting adventurous with different textures and stimulation can be fun. Water-based lubricants come in quite the variety of sensations: flavored, warming, cooling, thick gels, and super slippery carrageenans. We have all these sensations in stock with our Sliquid Organics line.

2. Relives Dryness & Irritation.

Lubrication is the first step in relieving discomfort during sex. Sometimes our bodies cannot produce as much moisture as we would like due to hormonal changes, medications, and our environment. Lubrication creates a moisturizing glide that actually protects your skin and makes sex feel better.

Although for some the irritation actually comes from their choice of lubricants. This is often because of unnecessary glycerin and parabens in the ingredients. Here at Pink Bunny we only sell glycerin-free & paraben-free lube (with the exception of Liquid Silk, which contains parabens, but we just can’t help ourselves with that one, we love how it’s absolutely never sticky or tacky)

If you have had trouble finding a lubricant which doesn’t bother you, try silicone lube. High quality silicone lube usually has just a few ingredients, reducing your risk of irritation. (psst.. come in the store and ask us about one of our favorite silicone lubes, Pink.)

3. Reduces Friction:

The silky smooth penetration that lubricant creates makes it easier for you and your partner to keep an even rhythm and better control when to slow down and when to speed up.

Thin lubricants: less friction and more sensation!

Thick gel lubricants: More cushioning, less friction, and stays in place = great for anal sex! (try the unbelievably thick lubricant, Maximus.)

Read the rest at Pink Bunny’s Blog!

favorite celebrity meme’s so far this year…

4 Things Emma Goldman Taught Me About Sex

Emma Goldman: 1800′s anarchist, philosopher, and rebel women. She believed in free-thinking, free-love, and birth control. The woman wasn’t so much of a suffragist, seeing as she once said, “If voting changed anything, it would be illegal,” but she is known for starting anarcha-feminism. As a radical thinker of her time, she fought for the rights of all genders and sexual orientations. Even in all her extremity (yes, there are stories that she plotted an assassination, politically driven, of course), this rebel woman has had a striking influence on me. She died 72 years ago this week. Get inspired:

1. “It is essential that we realize once and for all that man is much more of a sex creature than a moral creature. The former is inherent, the other is grafted on.”

This taught me that sex is real and normal and human. It is okay to be interested in and ask questions about it. The only judgments that can be made about your sexual fetishes are the ones you make yourself (consent is always a good one though).

2. “Women need not always keep their mouths shut and their wombs open.”

Our sex scripts tell us that women should be silenced and submissive. Thanks to Goldman, I hope we’ve learned that our pleasure is our own and we have the right to tell others what we want (and don’t want).

3. “Real wealth consists in things of utility and beauty in things that help create strong, beautiful bodies and surroundings inspiring to live in.”

I keep this quotation above my desk as a reminder of what gives my life meaning and fulfillment. I would also say this is an understanding we have here at EMandLO.com: we encourage loving our bodies and our surroundings.

4. “I demand the independence of woman, her right to support herself; to live for herself; to love whomever she pleases, or as many as she pleases. I demand freedom for both sexes, freedom of action, freedom in love and freedom in motherhood.

Pretty much speaks for itself, in the most beautiful and real of ways.

You can also read it on Em and Lo’s site!