favorite celebrity meme’s so far this year…

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4 Things Emma Goldman Taught Me About Sex

Emma Goldman: 1800′s anarchist, philosopher, and rebel women. She believed in free-thinking, free-love, and birth control. The woman wasn’t so much of a suffragist, seeing as she once said, “If voting changed anything, it would be illegal,” but she is known for starting anarcha-feminism. As a radical thinker of her time, she fought for the rights of all genders and sexual orientations. Even in all her extremity (yes, there are stories that she plotted an assassination, politically driven, of course), this rebel woman has had a striking influence on me. She died 72 years ago this week. Get inspired:

1. “It is essential that we realize once and for all that man is much more of a sex creature than a moral creature. The former is inherent, the other is grafted on.”

This taught me that sex is real and normal and human. It is okay to be interested in and ask questions about it. The only judgments that can be made about your sexual fetishes are the ones you make yourself (consent is always a good one though).

2. “Women need not always keep their mouths shut and their wombs open.”

Our sex scripts tell us that women should be silenced and submissive. Thanks to Goldman, I hope we’ve learned that our pleasure is our own and we have the right to tell others what we want (and don’t want).

3. “Real wealth consists in things of utility and beauty in things that help create strong, beautiful bodies and surroundings inspiring to live in.”

I keep this quotation above my desk as a reminder of what gives my life meaning and fulfillment. I would also say this is an understanding we have here at EMandLO.com: we encourage loving our bodies and our surroundings.

4. “I demand the independence of woman, her right to support herself; to live for herself; to love whomever she pleases, or as many as she pleases. I demand freedom for both sexes, freedom of action, freedom in love and freedom in motherhood.

Pretty much speaks for itself, in the most beautiful and real of ways.

You can also read it on Em and Lo’s site!

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5 ways to make masturbation even better

I think we can all agree now that plenty of women enjoy masturbation at least as much as men. But the way women enjoy masturbation can vary widely — and many need a bit of extra help getting themselves in the mood. I like to think that my masturbation dates deserve just as much seduction as my partner explorations. So here are my 5 suggestions for fashioning an unforgettable night in with yourself:

  1. Mood Music. I have an iTunes playlist covertly entitled ‘rr’ for rabbit rock (named after my rabbit vibrator, naturally). Every time I find a song that would be a good romp session anthem, I add it to my self-loving rr soundtrack. This is also fun because later when you hear one of the songs — at a party, say, or in the supermarket — you are reminded of those same tingles you felt before and it becomes a private inside joke with yourself.
  2. A good sex toy. I have become a kind of connoisseur of sex toys over the years and have found that a quality vibrator will always do the trick. I am a firm believer that one size (and shape) does not fit all when it comes to sex toys, so it’s up to you to find what you like. Experiment and explore. You and your sex toy will make for the ultimate tryst.
  3. Fantasy fucking. Sometimes I will turn to porn, sometimes music, but when all else fails, a wild fantasy can never do me wrong. Our brains are one of the most powerful sex organs and masturbation is the best way to exercise our creativity. Try to stay conscious of the things that turn you on throughout the day in order to better discover your own sexual appetite and use it as material for a future self love session.
  4. The freedom to be loud. My usual go-to noise canceling option is to have my vibrator under the sheets and to breathe my heavy breaths into a pillow. However, once I get to know my roommate’s class or work schedules, I find myself enjoying more home-alone time. When you don’t have to worry about anyone overhearing (or walking in on) your bliss and buzz noises, you can let yourself go and ultimately feel your orgasm much bigger and better.
  5. Tuning in to yourself. This is a little more abstract compared to the rest and probably much more vital. I close my eyes and take full breaths. I make sure to be very conscious of every part of my body. It’s important to be completely engaged by all your senses. What do your sheets feel like? What does your skin feel like? (Moisturize with sensual lotions if your answer is “scaly.”) What can you smell? (Light some candles if your answer to that question isn’t pleasant.) What does your breathing sound like? And so on. Remember that loving your body, physically and emotionally, is key to getting pleasure from it.

Also posted on Em & Lo’s site here!

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Review: Velvet G Spot Vibrator

The Velvet G Spot Vibrator is a Doc Johnson product endorsed by Jenna Jameson and was sent to me by theadulttoyshoppe. This is a one pattern vibration toy where the bottom of the toy turns so that the vibration strength is on a spectrum. The more you turn the more intense the vibrations will be. The vibrations are pretty decent for this kind of affordable toy, only $23.99. But don’t expect vibs like the hitachi magic wand. It requires, but does not come with, two AA batteries.

When it comes to pleasuring your g spot it is important to get aroused first in order to get warmed up. It is similar to putting a vibrator directly on your clit when you are not aroused yet, it is somewhat shocking and uncomfortable. I found this toy to work well with exterior use. However, in certain positions the batteries would move and make the vibrations awfully loud.

I’ve only ever used glass g spot toys, so I was not sure what to expect with the vibrations on my sweet spot. I’m not sure if this is common with many gspot vibs, but the vibrations were less when they were inside and pressed against me. I enjoyed it more when it was on a very low level and I brought the toy closer to the front of my body in a knocking sort of motion. The shape of this toy was good for that kind of motion. The head of the toy is bigger than I expected, so for those of you who like a good amount inside, this toy might be what you are looking for.

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10 reasons why I like shower sex

As you might know by now, I intern for sex authors/bloggers Em & Lo. Today they posted my confession on the 10 reasons why I like shower sex….

I am a total believer in water as a form of therapy. It relaxes me like nothing else, which is why I decided to make the shower the first place I ever masturbated, way back when. So I think, why not bring my partner into that space every now and then too? Being in my partner’s arms under the hot shower head is one of the warmest and most intimate moments I know. And so, for all the shower sex haters out there (ahem, including right on this site), here are my top 10 reasons why shower sex is affectionate, practical, and hot. No, really.

  1. The shower is the only place where you can use the shower head as a sex toy.
  2. It’s good to mix things up — the shower is a new place to do it, and, unlike a hotel room, it’s free.
  3. Got roommates? The running water of the shower disguises your glory moans.
  4. Even when things are getting dirty, the shower keeps everything clean. It’s much easier to wash off that pearl necklace when the water is already running.
read this rest here!
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Concluding Masturbation Month with an Interview with Betty Dodson!

 To conclude masturbation month this year, here is an interview with the mother of masturbation herself, Betty Dodson:
What do you think characterizes a positive attitude towards sex?
Keep an open mind and be willing to experiment with new ideas and ways to enjoy yourself.
Why do you think masturbation is important?
Masturbation is the foundation for all of human sexuality. It’s our first natural activity and it sustains us throughout our lifetimes.
Describe your first experience with masturbation.
I was 5 years old and Mother was driving all 4 of her children to meet up with Daddy who’d taken a job in California. After making sure my 2 younger brothers were asleep, I quietly rocked on a pillow pulled up tightly between my legs. I forgot about the rear view mirror so my mom saw the whole thing. She never said a word because she felt that masturbation was a natural activity for kids. I was very lucky to be raised by an orgasmic mother.
How do you like to pleasure yourself? Are there any specific places, motions etc. What is your favorite sex toy? 
My first true love was an overstuffed rabbit, my pillow and finally my own fingers. Then I discovered boys and penises. Eventually I explored electric vibrators and dildos along with the many sex toys that are available. I’m presently loving my Mystic Wand combined with a black hand carved Obsidian dildo.
What is your favorite sexual fantasy?
If I tell you that I’ll get arrested for sure!
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Masturbation Month: Interview with Carlin Ross

Carlin Ross had a career in law and telecommunications and moved on to work with woman’s sexuality. She is currently partnered up with Betty Dodson, where they run a sex information site helping women around the world achieve orgasm.

What do you think characterizes a positive attitude towards sex?

Someone who has sex for pleasure and connection NOT to get things or
manipulate people.  Also, someone who knows how to stimulate
themselves and shares that with their partner.

Why do you think masturbation is important?

We masturbate in utero…when we’re a fetus.  It’s how we become
sexual beings so if it’s blocked we can’t move forward and have
satisfying partner sex.  Also, it’s the constant in our lives.  You
will always masturbate.

Describe your first experience with masturbation.

I remember playing in the bathtub with the water running.  Maybe I was
6 or 7.  I was taking this little boat and dunking it under the stream
of water – the water hit my vulva and it felt good.  I didn’t think
about it or know exactly what I was doing but I scooted forward so the
stream ran directly over my clitoris and had an orgasm.  From then on,
I love love loved bath time.

How do you like to pleasure your? (any specific places, motions, etc.)

I use the 3 toys: the Hitachi Magic Wand, the Split Dildo and some lubricant.  I used to have tension orgasms but now I follow Betty’s Rock ‘n Roll technique.  Spread your legs apart holding the vibrator over your vulva.  Then rock your pelvis forward and then back so the vibrator runs from the top of your pelvic mound to your vaginal opening.  Just keep doing that – keep breathing – and ride the waves of orgasm.

What is your favorite sex toy?

My filthy mind

What is your favorite sexual fantasy?

Any sort of rape scenario (I know it’s taboo that’s why it’s hot) or a
scene where my boyfriend walks in on my having sex with someone else.

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